Home and Family

Happy New Year 2008!!!

Wow! It's hard to believe that we are already here. 2008!!!! Another amazing year. 2007 was such a wonderful year for our family. We have grown so much. We have learned so much. We have healed so much from the year before! ;0) (Zoe's adoption year-not so easy)

God is taking us places and doing things in our lives we have dreamed about for years. We are truly living our dreams!! I am so very thankful. Russ and I look at each other and just shake our heads in amazement. When you dive into the dreams God has placed in your heart it changes you forever. We are in awe when we see the path we are walking down.

I am so excited about this year. I am thankful for the peace that has been with me during this adoption process. It is a great encouragement to think that perhaps I ACTUALLY learned something through the torture of the first adoption! Hee hee hee..I know that I will be tested in that this year. I am praying for the grace to pass those tests and trust God with my heart and with my children- wherever they are.

It is so strange and exciting. I was telling Russ that I feel like my heart has grown. I know that sounds so cheesy but it's how I feel. You know like on the grinch? How his heart grew three sizes in one day?? It's like my heart has more capacity somehow- like it's a little stronger. You know when you start working out and you feel like your gonna die the next day? (Ummmm yeah like I am going to feel next week when I start going to the gym again.) It's like that. Like my first adoption opened my heart in a new way and it hurt so badly that sometimes I thought it might never repair. But now it has. This adoption is different. Sure sometimes I am tired, like today, but it's not the same. I am stronger and I have more endurance. Not because of my own strength but because I am learning how to let go and trust. I think I am kind of freaking Russ out because I am so chilled. He keeps talking about it. ;0)

So I am not big on New Year's Resolutions.... I don't know... I guess this is my goal for this year. My goal is to be joyful and continue to trust. To trust God with this adoption and continue to enjoy the process as well as enjoy where I am. I am really excited about the next months with my girls. I want to continue to soak in each moment with my two sweet girls who are here and not start REACHING for something God has not given me yet.

Thank you to all of you who walk down this path with us. My blogger buddies have become such a great part of my life. I would never have believed what a community of amazing friends I would gain through this crazy thing called a blog. A few years ago I didn't know what a blog WAS!

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I wish you all the best this year. I wish you joy. I wish you adventure. I wish you something beyond what you are capable of doing on your own. I wish you growth. Most of all I wish you love a little deeper than you have felt it before.

Love to you, Angel

Feeling Wiped Out

I am not sure exactly what is going on with me. I feel pretty wiped out emotionally and physically. I think I have been running on adrenaline off and on since we started the adoption in October. Halloween, Mission trip, home study, dossier prep, home school, volunteering, Thanksgiving, Russ' birthday, a couple of bouts of sickness, numerous Christmas celebrations... Plus Russ says I always get like this at this time of year. I do better with warmth and sun. When it gets cold and dark I just wanna curl up under the covers with my hot tea or chocolate.

So anyway, now that the dossier is mailed off and the holidays are over I feel zonked. I don't want to think or move. I sure don't want to cook or work out. The last couple of nights I couldn't sleep. I just laid there trying to figure out why I feel so sad. It doesn't REALLY make sense to me. Everything is fine.

I feel like I am doing pretty well so far with the adoption. I mean sure I feel sad when I ponder my baby girl in an orphanage on Christmas but I am trusting and looking forward. The situation with the orphans in Guatemala weighs on my heart but no more than the plight of these children always does. So I don't think that is it. It's not that lovely time of month so I can't blame it on hormones. Hee hee hee.. and NO I am not prego. I've been sleeping enough. Well, I have been eating more crud with the holidays so I am sure that doesn't help. ;0) I have unfortunately put on about 4 or 5 pounds of extra insulation these last 2 months. UGH!

I don't want to sound like a whiny baby. I am just trying to keep it real on this blog. I don't want to sound like things are always perfect and rosy around here. I'm no superman. It's just where I am. I am worn a little thin at the moment. Hopefully I just need some chill time and I will bounce back in a few days. So in honor of my current state of blah here is a song that describes how I feel. I thought about making a cute little video with this song but then I thought NAHHHH! Hee hee hee... So this will have to do for now. Hugs, BLAH BLAH Angel

Children

Wanna hear some of the latest cuteness from our little KK? Of COURSE you do. ;0)

Kaitlyn- Mommy, why can people not adopt kids from Guatemala right now? Is it cause they are making new logs?

laws baby... laws.. hee hee hee

Daddy- Kaitlyn you are just getting too big I think. You aren't going to grow up on me are you?

Kaitlyn- OH YES I AM DADDY! I am going to GROW up. So you better just WATCH OUT!

I believe her. Don't you?

Kaitlyn- Mommy is there a sealand?
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Me- What baby?
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Kaitlyn- Is there a SEA LAND??? ( getting annoyed)

Me- Baby I don't know what a sealand IS.

Kaitlyn- You KNOW MOMMY!!! (Huge Sigh) It's a little place. Cause they have Disney WORLD and Disney LAND. Do they have Sea World and Sea LAND?

How smart is that little booger? She has her own way of thinking but it SURE is fun and interesting. ;0)

Kaitlyn- What are the clouds made of?

Daddy- What do you think they are made of?

Kaitlyn- Hmmmm.... I think something REALLY squishy.

Kaitlyn's meal time prayer....

God...... Thank you for this food.... it is good food and this food is yummy food. Please help people to go potty ON the potty.... and help mommies and daddies NOT have a hard adoption. Amen

Children are such a blessing. Every moment with my children is a treasure. I pray that I soak in each moment and be so careful not to take it for granted. It seems that every time I blink my sweet babies are growing older and more wonderful. It is my deep desire to treasure the best gifts God gives. It does not matter how he brings them to us. Whether they were planned or a surprise... wanted for years or rejected.... whether they came from our womb or the womb of a mother across an ocean... they are gifts, rewards, as valuable as arrows for a warrior in battle. Why does our society often view more children as a burden? It seems God views them very differently.

Psalm 127

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

So are the children of one’s youth.

How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;

They will not be ashamed

When they speak with their enemies in the gate.

I want to remember to see my children bounding into the room as a pleasure and not an interruption. I want to hear their stuttering, stalling sentences as adorable and not frustrating. I want their squishing into my bed when they heard a noise to be precious and not intrusive. Most often my irritation comes from my own failure to grow. Most often the things that my children struggle in are bad habits they learned from me. I want to see my children through God's eyes.

And they took to him little children, so that he might put his hands on them: and the disciples said sharp words to them. And when Jesus saw it, he was angry, and said to them, Let the little children come to me, and do not keep them away; for of such is the kingdom of God. Truly I say to you, Whoever does not put himself under the kingdom of God like a little child, will not come into it at all. And he took them in his arms, and gave them a blessing, putting his hands on them. Mark 10

When I see my children's hearts I see God's heart. When I see the way they love- whole heartedly and without reservation- I see God's love. I have so much to learn from my treasures. So much about forgiveness and trust and unconditional love. Love your babies tonight. Take time to treasure who they are. We are so honored to have them. I am honored that God will send me more of these priceless treasures.

It is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us.
-- Author:Charles Dickens

Love, Angel

my little green book

The name for this blog, "Little Green Notebook," is inspired by Salinger's Franny and Zooey. In the story, Franny carries a little green cloth-bound book in her handbag. I can just imagine her (in the 60's) looking like Jackie O. Probably wearing gloves, and a pill box hat. Perfect red lipstick. And I love that her book was pea green.

These old Kate Spade ads are so beautiful and are exactly what I imagine Franny to look like. (It's a funny coincidence that the girl here is reading "Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters")

Such a beautiful bedroom

Anyway, in the story Franny's book was a little novel, but I love the idea of sweet, small notebooks in purses. And since I am a list person, I always carry one around with me to jot down ideas and inspirations as they strike. Ideas for decorating the house. Clothes that I love in the store but want to check online for in case I can get them cheaper elsewhere. Grocery lists. Christmas gift ideas. To do lists. Goals. Dreams. etc. It's a handy little system for me. And it's really fun to look back through old notebooks to see past lists and ideas.

Here are a few of my favorite notebooks:

Moleskines

Paper Source (For even more color options - try binding your own!)

I decided that there are so many beautiful things that I stumble across on the internet that inspire me (and get me REALLY excited about having money again in a year and a half) that I'd start an inspiration journal where I can post about my favorite things and share them with you.

Our New Addition- Well KIND OF! :0)

No we are not adopting another sweetie pie. Not YET anyway! ;0) We are now sponsors to this beautiful little girl named Milcka from Guatemala!! I am so thrilled to have her as a part of our extended family. I will call her DD cause Droopy Dog is my little nick name for her. Look at those awesome cheeks! Aren't they crazy adorable? Here is the deal... I met/fell in love with "DD" when I was in Guatemala on our mission trip to Eagle's Nest. She lives at the orphanage where we visited. Of course I was immediately wrapped around her chubby little fingers. :0) I mean look at her! I truly have adored her since the moment I met her. I hated ever having to put her down. These are the pics I took while I was there.

At that time I thought she was on her way home to her family. I was so happy to know she would go to a loving family soon. ( though I was secretly wishing I could take her and about ten others home with me-hee hee) I can't help it! They are so precious. BUT REALLY! I just wanted them all to have great homes. It breaks my heart to say that due to some unavoidable complications DD's case has been stopped by the government. So she will not be able to be adopted until these complications are resolved. This will most likely take a great deal of time. Eagle's Nest Orphanage requested to keep her and care for her although it may be a long road with little to no financial support. When I saw her picture and realized she was one of the kiddos needing support I knew I had to help. As her sponsors we will receive monthly updates on how she is doing.

As many of you know Guatemala is shutting down adoptions for a time to change certain practices and try to make things better. It is estimated that adoptions will be stopped for about 6 months. Sadly, many children will suffer because they are caught in the middle of this delay. The money that parents pay during the adoption process is what allows places like Eagle's Nest to function and support these kids. I know that they desperately want to care for these precious children until they can be matched with families. There are not many places that I trust with my money. This is one place. I have seen what they are doing and I believe in it.

There are more children who need sponsors. Even if you can give a few dollars it will help Eagle's Nest continue to be able to care for these children. They have helped so many of these little jewels find homes. Let's help them continue to be able to take children in and find them loving homes.

You can go to Eagle's Nest website and donate through Pay Pal. Here is the link... http://www.eaglesnestint.org/

GO TO "ADOPT-A-CHILD" TO SEE CHILDREN IN NEED OF SPONSORS.

GO TO "HOW CAN I HELP" TO FIND THE PAY PAL DONATE BUTTON -(when you donate make sure you make a note of the name of the child you would like the money to help)

If you would like to see a video about my experience at Eagle's Nest here it is..

Here I am with some of the beautiful children from Eagle's Nest. This is a song they put together to tell us goodbye. Are they precious or WHAT??? A couple of the children in this video need sponsors as they will have to stay at Eagle's Nest until adoptions are re-opened in Guatemala.

Here they are praying for us and our journey home. I was basically bawling my eyes out by the time they were done. They are precious. It was so hard to leave them behind.

Thanks so much for your time. I will continue to keep you updated on sweet little DD and the other kiddos at Eagle's Nest. Love, Angel

PS For more information on Eagle's Nest Orphanage and my mission trip to Guatemala please look at the side bar to the right under my archives section called mission trips. You will find LOTS of great pictures and videos.

For Kaiya On Christmas

This is the last Christmas alone baby... Hold on little one. You are so loved. We're coming soon. Love, Mommy

Christmas Videos 2007

I love these sweet girls. Check them out opening their presents and the presents Santa brought for Kaiya. They are such cool kids. Next year, Lord willing, their will be three sweet girls opening presents around the tree. I am saying extra prayers tonight for the little ones in this world with no home...no Santa... no cozy bed. There are far too many. It's hard knowing Kaiya is one of them tonight but I know she isn't abandoned. Soon she will come home. Soon... I pray this is her last Christmas alone.

Lord, take care of my sweet little Kaiya tonight. Please let somebody hug her and tuck her in. Please let her feel that she is loved and safe. Bring her home to us in your perfect timing.