I know it's long. Sorry! There is a lot going on in this crazy brain of mine!
So here is what's been going on lately.... I've been researching African adoption!
I thought we had it all figured out. Remember how we had our next adoption all figured out? We were going to do an African American domestic adoption. We were all started and everything. It's an awesome plan. There is a great need for people to adopt minority infants in the US. I had no idea until last year that this was the case. You get a little bitty healthy baby. It is less stressful and costly than working with another country because of the inter country issues. Our adoption laws in Texas are stellar from what I hear and the agency we would work with is amazing. They truly have a heart to help and are extremely ethical. I desperately want people to know about the need to adopt AA and bi-racial babies domestically. I thought, "Why wouldn't we do this???" I sent in the paperwork. THEN I couldn't do it.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT! At first I thought I wasn't quite ready... which I wasn't. I know we needed a break. BUT it was more than that too.
You may have noticed I've been really quiet about it here. I didn't know what to say. Were we going to do it? Were we stopping... paused.... and WHY? I just couldn't write it down somehow. A lot of my thoughts are muddled and weird. Some of them are downright selfish and I am ashamed to write them down. Some of them might offend people so I've kept them to myself. BUT I am done with the self-censoring. I guess I've given fair warning. Stop reading now if your a blue pill kind of person. :0)
So anyway, I have been wrestling with it and researching like crazy. I started second guessing everything. It is such a difficult thing for me because I have a passion to help Africa. I feel like there is a little piece of my heart there already. Russ and I are actually developing long term plans to have a ministry involving Africa. So I kept thinking- how can I NOT adopt from there?? It's also a little bit selfish cause we really feel that we want to do the baby thing one more time but I wasn't sure I really wanted to do the BRAND new baby thing. It's just that the first 6 months is A LOT of work and I'm spoiled now. See! SELFISH! Also in my mind the next adoption would be a boy since we have two girls and the agency we would use for domestic does not allow you to choose gender. SEE! SELFISH AGAIN! Plus, adoption from Africa seems so much more life and death for the children. I mean they have nothing. There are such amazing ministries and families adopting from Africa. I am so grateful to see the work people are doing there. I can hardly hardly wait to be a part of that.
On the other hand-children in the US have a social welfare system to fall back on. If they don't have a home they have some sort of protection. Then again... what kind of life is it to be bounced from one foster home to the next- knowing you aren't wanted because your skin is different? It makes me want to hurl. Is that really much better than living in poverty?
I also feel very strongly that Christians need to practice what we preach. I find it hypocritical to say that I am pro-life if I am unwilling to adopt a child that is placed for adoption. What are the options in our still prejudiced society? Should a young lady have a baby that she can't afford and is not ready to raise? Should she give up a baby not knowing whether the baby will find a great loving family or will end up shuffled into a faulty foster care system? Should she abort the baby?
I know of three wonderful, reputable domestic adoption agencies right now that have NO families willing to adopt African American healthy babies. This is in Texas with our strict adoption laws. My social worker has witnessed families wait for ten plus years for a Caucasian baby while healthy African American babies were put in foster homes. So how can we have a leg to stand on in saying we are pro-life when we won't open our hearts and our homes? Did you know that Canadians regularly come and adopt African American children from the United States because American families won't?!? Do you feel nauseous or is it just me?
I am ASHAMED of us. Truly I am. It is not enough to say I want things to change. I have to BE the change...start the change. It's not enough to say that skin color isn't what is important about a person. I need to live that truth!
I am so deeply proud of the families out there who are daring to cross the interracial boundaries. THANK YOU! I truly believe that you are beginning the realization of Martin Luther's dream...
"I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers."
After wrestling with it all and getting some wise counsel from one of my fabulous adoptive mommy friends (thanks Amy) I think we have landed on what to do. It's so funny because a few months ago I encouraged Amy not to limit God in what He can do in her life and when He might do it. She took that advise and God is doing such cool things in her family. She is the BOMB and a true role model to me!
So the other day I was talking to her and spilling my guts about this struggle. She reminded me that I needed to listen to the very words I told her. I was feeling torn because I was saying that THIS was my chance to adopt from Africa even though in my heart I think we should go with AA domestic. She asked me why we couldn't adopt from Africa later down the road. HUH??? What a revelation right???
It seems so simple but I was just limiting myself to what I can see. It seems so silly to me that it didn't occur to me as an option. I don't know how to explain that... I am still learning to open my brain to all God has for me. I am still learning to take the visions I have for the future and be patient until it's the right time.
I shared everything with my awesome hubby. We talked and prayed and thought. We both agree that we think domestic adoption is where we need to be this time but African adoption is down the road. I thought Russ might be disappointed at the thought of maybe not having a boy. He said he adores his little girls and would love another one. How precious is this man? So we are putting it in God's hands. He will bring us our next one just like He brought us our last two. Look how cool they are! He's obviously very good at this.
Plus, I figure there is a good chance we will end up with a little boy from Africa one of these days. Generally, more people request girls in overseas adoption. Many waiting children are boys. So there you go.. maybe that's why part of my heart's in Africa. I guess we will see.
So here is the current plan- Lord willing. We will wait until January to get really into anything. I'll just get the basics done. We will dive into a domestic adoption process full force in January. The hope is that we will bring a baby home summer or fall of 2008.
WOOOOHOOOOO! I feel so much better. I am getting so excited. I think I just needed to process it all and figure out where we are supposed to be headed. Now that I have a direction I feel great. Well, what do you think?
To read more about our agency you can link here to our previous entry...
http://thevoiceofadventure.blogspot.com/2007/03/we-are-getting-soooo-excited.html
HUGS! Angel
So here is what's been going on lately.... I've been researching African adoption!
I thought we had it all figured out. Remember how we had our next adoption all figured out? We were going to do an African American domestic adoption. We were all started and everything. It's an awesome plan. There is a great need for people to adopt minority infants in the US. I had no idea until last year that this was the case. You get a little bitty healthy baby. It is less stressful and costly than working with another country because of the inter country issues. Our adoption laws in Texas are stellar from what I hear and the agency we would work with is amazing. They truly have a heart to help and are extremely ethical. I desperately want people to know about the need to adopt AA and bi-racial babies domestically. I thought, "Why wouldn't we do this???" I sent in the paperwork. THEN I couldn't do it.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT! At first I thought I wasn't quite ready... which I wasn't. I know we needed a break. BUT it was more than that too.
You may have noticed I've been really quiet about it here. I didn't know what to say. Were we going to do it? Were we stopping... paused.... and WHY? I just couldn't write it down somehow. A lot of my thoughts are muddled and weird. Some of them are downright selfish and I am ashamed to write them down. Some of them might offend people so I've kept them to myself. BUT I am done with the self-censoring. I guess I've given fair warning. Stop reading now if your a blue pill kind of person. :0)
So anyway, I have been wrestling with it and researching like crazy. I started second guessing everything. It is such a difficult thing for me because I have a passion to help Africa. I feel like there is a little piece of my heart there already. Russ and I are actually developing long term plans to have a ministry involving Africa. So I kept thinking- how can I NOT adopt from there?? It's also a little bit selfish cause we really feel that we want to do the baby thing one more time but I wasn't sure I really wanted to do the BRAND new baby thing. It's just that the first 6 months is A LOT of work and I'm spoiled now. See! SELFISH! Also in my mind the next adoption would be a boy since we have two girls and the agency we would use for domestic does not allow you to choose gender. SEE! SELFISH AGAIN! Plus, adoption from Africa seems so much more life and death for the children. I mean they have nothing. There are such amazing ministries and families adopting from Africa. I am so grateful to see the work people are doing there. I can hardly hardly wait to be a part of that.
On the other hand-children in the US have a social welfare system to fall back on. If they don't have a home they have some sort of protection. Then again... what kind of life is it to be bounced from one foster home to the next- knowing you aren't wanted because your skin is different? It makes me want to hurl. Is that really much better than living in poverty?
I also feel very strongly that Christians need to practice what we preach. I find it hypocritical to say that I am pro-life if I am unwilling to adopt a child that is placed for adoption. What are the options in our still prejudiced society? Should a young lady have a baby that she can't afford and is not ready to raise? Should she give up a baby not knowing whether the baby will find a great loving family or will end up shuffled into a faulty foster care system? Should she abort the baby?
I know of three wonderful, reputable domestic adoption agencies right now that have NO families willing to adopt African American healthy babies. This is in Texas with our strict adoption laws. My social worker has witnessed families wait for ten plus years for a Caucasian baby while healthy African American babies were put in foster homes. So how can we have a leg to stand on in saying we are pro-life when we won't open our hearts and our homes? Did you know that Canadians regularly come and adopt African American children from the United States because American families won't?!? Do you feel nauseous or is it just me?
I am ASHAMED of us. Truly I am. It is not enough to say I want things to change. I have to BE the change...start the change. It's not enough to say that skin color isn't what is important about a person. I need to live that truth!
I am so deeply proud of the families out there who are daring to cross the interracial boundaries. THANK YOU! I truly believe that you are beginning the realization of Martin Luther's dream...
"I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers."
I think it's beautiful.
So I know this all might sound a little bit disjointed but frankly, that's what my thought process has been like. It's been really good though. I am learning so much about Africa and the adoption systems in place. I am learning a lot about myself- good and bad! I have met some amazing new blogger buddies too.After wrestling with it all and getting some wise counsel from one of my fabulous adoptive mommy friends (thanks Amy) I think we have landed on what to do. It's so funny because a few months ago I encouraged Amy not to limit God in what He can do in her life and when He might do it. She took that advise and God is doing such cool things in her family. She is the BOMB and a true role model to me!
So the other day I was talking to her and spilling my guts about this struggle. She reminded me that I needed to listen to the very words I told her. I was feeling torn because I was saying that THIS was my chance to adopt from Africa even though in my heart I think we should go with AA domestic. She asked me why we couldn't adopt from Africa later down the road. HUH??? What a revelation right???
It seems so simple but I was just limiting myself to what I can see. It seems so silly to me that it didn't occur to me as an option. I don't know how to explain that... I am still learning to open my brain to all God has for me. I am still learning to take the visions I have for the future and be patient until it's the right time.
I shared everything with my awesome hubby. We talked and prayed and thought. We both agree that we think domestic adoption is where we need to be this time but African adoption is down the road. I thought Russ might be disappointed at the thought of maybe not having a boy. He said he adores his little girls and would love another one. How precious is this man? So we are putting it in God's hands. He will bring us our next one just like He brought us our last two. Look how cool they are! He's obviously very good at this.
Plus, I figure there is a good chance we will end up with a little boy from Africa one of these days. Generally, more people request girls in overseas adoption. Many waiting children are boys. So there you go.. maybe that's why part of my heart's in Africa. I guess we will see.
So here is the current plan- Lord willing. We will wait until January to get really into anything. I'll just get the basics done. We will dive into a domestic adoption process full force in January. The hope is that we will bring a baby home summer or fall of 2008.
WOOOOHOOOOO! I feel so much better. I am getting so excited. I think I just needed to process it all and figure out where we are supposed to be headed. Now that I have a direction I feel great. Well, what do you think?
To read more about our agency you can link here to our previous entry...
http://thevoiceofadventure.blogspot.com/2007/03/we-are-getting-soooo-excited.html
HUGS! Angel