I am not sure exactly what is going on with me. I feel pretty wiped out emotionally and physically. I think I have been running on adrenaline off and on since we started the adoption in October. Halloween, Mission trip, home study, dossier prep, home school, volunteering, Thanksgiving, Russ' birthday, a couple of bouts of sickness, numerous Christmas celebrations... Plus Russ says I always get like this at this time of year. I do better with warmth and sun. When it gets cold and dark I just wanna curl up under the covers with my hot tea or chocolate.
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So anyway, now that the dossier is mailed off and the holidays are over I feel zonked. I don't want to think or move. I sure don't want to cook or work out. The last couple of nights I couldn't sleep. I just laid there trying to figure out why I feel so sad. It doesn't REALLY make sense to me. Everything is fine.
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I feel like I am doing pretty well so far with the adoption. I mean sure I feel sad when I ponder my baby girl in an orphanage on Christmas but I am trusting and looking forward. The situation with the orphans in Guatemala weighs on my heart but no more than the plight of these children always does. So I don't think that is it. It's not that lovely time of month so I can't blame it on hormones. Hee hee hee.. and NO I am not prego. I've been sleeping enough. Well, I have been eating more crud with the holidays so I am sure that doesn't help. ;0) I have unfortunately put on about 4 or 5 pounds of extra insulation these last 2 months. UGH!
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I don't want to sound like a whiny baby. I am just trying to keep it real on this blog. I don't want to sound like things are always perfect and rosy around here. I'm no superman. It's just where I am. I am worn a little thin at the moment. Hopefully I just need some chill time and I will bounce back in a few days. So in honor of my current state of blah here is a song that describes how I feel. I thought about making a cute little video with this song but then I thought NAHHHH! Hee hee hee... So this will have to do for now. Hugs, BLAH BLAH Angel