YOUR $10 will stretch SO far if they win this! Will you please help? You can check out their website to see what they do here. http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/
Thanks, Angel
Please help a great organization!
Hi, I want to ask everyone to please take the time to donate $10 to Love Without Boundaries in the face book challenge. LWB does AMAZING work in China saving many lives and enriching the lives of orphans who wait. LWB has lost their lead in the challenge. The winner will receive $50,000 (enough to pay for 10 heart surgeries). Today is the final day. The challenge ends at noon tomorrow. Whoever has the most donors wins the big prize. It is a hassle to sign up with face book but please do it anyway. Please give to Love Without Boundaries. They are doing such an important work for the kids in China. Thank you! http://apps.facebook.com/causes/giving
YOUR $10 will stretch SO far if they win this! Will you please help? You can check out their website to see what they do here. http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/
Thanks, Angel
YOUR $10 will stretch SO far if they win this! Will you please help? You can check out their website to see what they do here. http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/
Thanks, Angel
MY BABY GIRL FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This morning I woke up to a wonderful surprise!!! My adoptive mommy friend was able to post Kaiya's pictures on her blog! My birthday is Friday and this was such a wonderful gift. I was SO excited but also RUNNING out the door since I am in charge of carpool on Tuesday mornings. I also work out with a friend and was supposed to meet her. So I just copied Kaiya's beautiful face on my computer and took it with me. I sat staring at it in the parking lot before I forced myself to work out. I couldn't even shower after I worked out. I HAD to get home to post them for you. Thanks so much to everyone who wrote to let me know they were on the blog. You are such sweet friends. I know I have people watchin' my back. ;0) Of course I had to mess around with them and edit and play. Hope you love them as much as I do... of course that is NOT possible. Thanks SOOOOO much Leigh. These are such an amazing gift. I am so grateful. Hugs, Angel
OH MY WORD! I just love her eyes. Just LOOK at that precious hair. I LOVE IT! I am praying sooo hard they don't shave it off but they usually do. :0(
Doesn't her nanny look SO sweet?? She looks like a kind and happy person.
Lovin those chubby little hands. You can't even SEE her scar from her lip surgery!
How am I so blessed? She looks warm and healthy.
This morning I woke up to a wonderful surprise!!! My adoptive mommy friend was able to post Kaiya's pictures on her blog! My birthday is Friday and this was such a wonderful gift. I was SO excited but also RUNNING out the door since I am in charge of carpool on Tuesday mornings. I also work out with a friend and was supposed to meet her. So I just copied Kaiya's beautiful face on my computer and took it with me. I sat staring at it in the parking lot before I forced myself to work out. I couldn't even shower after I worked out. I HAD to get home to post them for you. Thanks so much to everyone who wrote to let me know they were on the blog. You are such sweet friends. I know I have people watchin' my back. ;0) Of course I had to mess around with them and edit and play. Hope you love them as much as I do... of course that is NOT possible. Thanks SOOOOO much Leigh. These are such an amazing gift. I am so grateful. Hugs, Angel
Look at THAT!!! Isn't she precious?????
She is bundled in about 4 layers of clothing to keep her warm. So it's hard to tell how big she is. I have a feeling she is much tinier than she looks.
OH MY WORD! I just love her eyes. Just LOOK at that precious hair. I LOVE IT! I am praying sooo hard they don't shave it off but they usually do. :0(Doesn't her nanny look SO sweet?? She looks like a kind and happy person.Lovin those chubby little hands. You can't even SEE her scar from her lip surgery!How am I so blessed? She looks warm and healthy.
Isn't this wonderful? Isn't she amazing???? I KNOW! I KNOW! I am a gushy momma. I can't help myself. I am in LOOOOOVE!
Look what came in the mail!
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Hee hee... if only Kaiya would come in the mail tomorrow. ;0) Hugs, Angel
Hee hee... if only Kaiya would come in the mail tomorrow. ;0) Hugs, AngelMy little helper
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What can happen when your little helper offers to set the table. Go figure...4 year olds. :0) Angel
A sneak preview
We are not ready for the big reveal on the room makeovers quite yet. I KNOW! We are slow moving. BUT one room makeover kind of turned into a 4 or 5 room makeover. I told you I was nesting. ;0) So now we are just waiting on odds and ends here and there. I promise to put pics up when we are finally all done. For now here is a sneak preview into a couple of the rooms we made over. 
:0) Angel
:0) AngelLearning to go with the flow....
I read a metaphor in a book... my mind kind of took off with it and I can't seem to get it out of my head. It was talking about happiness and pain in life. Sooo to help you understand this post I made you a very high tech illustration. YES! I drew it. Quit laughing. ;0) It is held by my lovely assistant Kaitlyn.
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Think of life as a river. On one bank you have happiness and laughter and on the other is grief and pain. Life is both isn't it? We are floating along in the middle as the current takes us.
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Now if you are like me you have spent a good deal of your life a bit terrified of that shore called grief- trying to run from pain. Sometimes the current starts to take us toward it and we spend all of our energy trying to swim away. We become almost frantic. Working and flailing... desperate to avoid the pain. We want to stay on the other side. We want to live with only happiness. We struggle and cling to the banks of happiness with a deep fear that it could be swept away. So we can't accept our happiness as it comes. We feel we must cling to it. We can't accept the grief and feel it. We feel we must struggle to get away.
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What would happen if we just decided to go with the flow? What is in the middle? What would happen if we quit running from the pain and embraced it? What would happen if we just rejoiced when happiness came to us and quit striving for it? What is in the middle??
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What would happen if we just decided to go with the flow? What is in the middle? What would happen if we quit running from the pain and embraced it? What would happen if we just rejoiced when happiness came to us and quit striving for it? What is in the middle??
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I have been turning this around and around in my mind.... seriously mulling over it for a couple of months. I think I know what that is. I think in the middle is joy.
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Joy is contentment and happiness despite our circumstances. It means that we are at peace no matter which shore we have drifted toward that day.
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Think of Mother Theresa and Ghandi... regardless of your background or belief you can recognize that there is something very special about these people. What was it that made them so different than you or me? I think this may be the key. They embraced what life brought to them. They embraced pain... they embraced happiness... they had contentment... they had joy.
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I don't pretend to grasp this world or the pain. Deep inside I am terrified of pain. I used to say that I was allergic to pain. :0) BUT I know I want to be like Christ. Christ was not afraid to step into people's pain and feel it. He did not grasp for happiness. He was content and full of joy. Paul spoke a lot about this and it's been a tough concept for me to get....
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Philippians 4:10-14
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I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.
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James 1:2
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My brothers and sisters, be very happy when you are tested in different ways. You know that such testing of your faith produces endurance. Endure until your testing is over. Then you will be mature and complete, and you won't need anything.
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If we study the bible we see that grief is not something to be avoided. APPARENTLY we should REJOICE in it. It is something to be embraced because it makes us grow.
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I am pretty good about rejoicing in hindsight. Like ohhhhh now I am glad about the growth I experienced through Zoe's adoption. Ummmm yeah... I wasn't so joyful during the growth. In fact, I spent the whole year kicking and screaming like a two year old! BUT I am trying to learn this lesson. It is a hard lesson for me because I am still scared of grief and loss. I know that fear is not an emotion I want to live by... wisdom or caution- yes.... fear-no.
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So this adoption has almost been a test case for me. Can I just go with the flow? Can I embrace the happiness and grief as it comes? What would happen if I just went with the flow? Believe it or not there have been snags along the way during this adoption.... I just haven't handled them the same way. I was thinking about that. NOW I am not saying that my process in Guatemala wasn't harder. IT WAS by far. What I am saying is that I handled things in a way that made it even harder than it needed to be. The snags this time haven't knocked me over in the same way.
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For instance.... My I171-H expired 3 months before we started this adoption. 3 MONTHS! Not only that- I had asked Russ if we should extend it before. You can do that once. He voted no which made sense at the time because we were going to do a domestic adoption. This was before we knew. So it cost us a LOT more money to get that done and we lost about a month of time. Then we found out there was a new rule that we couldn't apply for the I171-H till our homestudy was done. Due to circumstances beyond anyone's control getting the homestudy done took 2-3 weeks longer than I had hoped and cost about $1,000 more than we hoped. It really wasn't anyone's fault- it had to do with meeting China regulations. My dossier was delayed a week by a freak snow storm. The lady at the Chinese consulate was so mean to me she made me cry in front of everyone and they would not do my papers as quickly as I had hoped. The morning I got everything authenticated I had a notarization mess up that ended up being hours of work and a bit of trying not to panic and cry. I found out the orphanage where my daughter lives has no heat and it's bitterly cold in the winter in her region. I found out many of the children have scabies and no medication.
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For instance.... My I171-H expired 3 months before we started this adoption. 3 MONTHS! Not only that- I had asked Russ if we should extend it before. You can do that once. He voted no which made sense at the time because we were going to do a domestic adoption. This was before we knew. So it cost us a LOT more money to get that done and we lost about a month of time. Then we found out there was a new rule that we couldn't apply for the I171-H till our homestudy was done. Due to circumstances beyond anyone's control getting the homestudy done took 2-3 weeks longer than I had hoped and cost about $1,000 more than we hoped. It really wasn't anyone's fault- it had to do with meeting China regulations. My dossier was delayed a week by a freak snow storm. The lady at the Chinese consulate was so mean to me she made me cry in front of everyone and they would not do my papers as quickly as I had hoped. The morning I got everything authenticated I had a notarization mess up that ended up being hours of work and a bit of trying not to panic and cry. I found out the orphanage where my daughter lives has no heat and it's bitterly cold in the winter in her region. I found out many of the children have scabies and no medication.
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What is my point? My last adoption I would have been so upset by these things. You would have heard about them on the blog many times. I would have wondered why these things were happening. This time they really didn't make the radar enough for me to post about them. Were they frustrating or concerning- yes. It was just at a different level. I have started to come to grips with my lack of control. I am trying to embrace the tests along the way and rejoice in what God sends me. I am not saying that I "get it" yet. I am just saying that I think joy and contentment are smack in the middle of Happiness and Grief. I am really trying to embrace that and just GO WITH IT. I am trying not to grasp for happiness and frantically avoid pain. It is tiring and saps my joy. Instead I am trying my best to just accept all that God allows. So far this is working... I feel content and joyful.
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What still grips my heart is the knowledge that this test is only a teeny tiny fraction of what so many people face. I pray that I do not come up against the ragged rocks of grief that some I know have faced. I am growing but still want to hide from the really big pain. The pain of loss... This is my new inner struggle. Not ignoring the big time pain. Feeling it- loving people where they are. What about a little boy who is 4 years old dying a painful death from cancer while his mommy holds him and tells him it will all be OK? What about the little one who died in an orphanage without ever knowing a family? What about a mother who watched her baby get slaughtered by soldiers in Darfur all because she is a different color? What about a little girl who is 7 and must now take care of her 3 younger siblings because mommy and daddy died from AIDS?
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How do we face that kind of grief? How do we take it in and still have joy? I don't know yet... but I think it lies somewhere here. My grief is based on fear. I am afraid of what I would feel if that happened to me. I am terrified of being hurt or left behind. I am sad and afraid for those who are left behind. Fear keeps us from DOING something. Fear of grief perpetuates pain. Fear of grief prevents joy.
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I'll end with this today...
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Philippians 4:4-9
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Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!
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Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
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Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. -
I don't even know if this post made any sense to you. I just had to share. Hugs, Angel
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PS If you would like to see other posts related to this topic here are a couple of my favorites.
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Compassion vs Fear
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The Hardest Lesson We Learn
MORE WONDERFUL NEWS!
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I am floating on air.... I AM! Yesterday evening I came home to a letter in my inbox. My care package was delivered to our baby Kaiya yesterday by a wonderful mommy picking up her little girl in Yiwu AND she was able to take a new picture of Kaiya!!!!!! YES! Soon we will have a new picture of our sweety.
She can't send it to me till she gets back from China because it was taken on her momma's camera and they don't have the cords. THAT'S OK! I will wait. I am just so thrilled that she SAW her and has a PICTURE of her!! It had me really choked up.
She said that Kaiya looks fine and that the baby room was not cold at all. It was warm. She said the babies were bundled up nice and cozy too. That was a relief.
She said while her little girl, Hope, may not have been showered with attention she was clearly not abused. She is sweet and polite and responds to comfort. THAT is terrific news! I have actually been hearing many stories about the children adopted from Kaiya's SWI- social welfare institute. All of the parents I heard from said their children bonded very easily and they could tell that someone cared about them. I pray every day that someone will love Kaiya. I am so grateful that those nannies are making the effort. I am sure they can't even know how vital they are. I will treasure them forever.
I don't know much else yet. She is busy in China right now. I am sure she will be able to fill me in on a few more details when she gets time to breathe. Here is her blog if you would like to follow their journey. I, of course, have been blog stalking! http://www.babyjellybeans.com/web/do/site/home?ID=282271 Just go to the travel journal to read her blog entries. Their are different photo albums listed below that.
YAY! YAY! YAY for a new picture and an update on our baby!
Hugs, Angel
I am floating on air.... I AM! Yesterday evening I came home to a letter in my inbox. My care package was delivered to our baby Kaiya yesterday by a wonderful mommy picking up her little girl in Yiwu AND she was able to take a new picture of Kaiya!!!!!! YES! Soon we will have a new picture of our sweety.
She can't send it to me till she gets back from China because it was taken on her momma's camera and they don't have the cords. THAT'S OK! I will wait. I am just so thrilled that she SAW her and has a PICTURE of her!! It had me really choked up.
She said that Kaiya looks fine and that the baby room was not cold at all. It was warm. She said the babies were bundled up nice and cozy too. That was a relief.
She said while her little girl, Hope, may not have been showered with attention she was clearly not abused. She is sweet and polite and responds to comfort. THAT is terrific news! I have actually been hearing many stories about the children adopted from Kaiya's SWI- social welfare institute. All of the parents I heard from said their children bonded very easily and they could tell that someone cared about them. I pray every day that someone will love Kaiya. I am so grateful that those nannies are making the effort. I am sure they can't even know how vital they are. I will treasure them forever.
I don't know much else yet. She is busy in China right now. I am sure she will be able to fill me in on a few more details when she gets time to breathe. Here is her blog if you would like to follow their journey. I, of course, have been blog stalking! http://www.babyjellybeans.com/web/do/site/home?ID=282271 Just go to the travel journal to read her blog entries. Their are different photo albums listed below that.
YAY! YAY! YAY for a new picture and an update on our baby!
Hugs, Angel
Kaiya's 100 Good Wishes Quilt :0)
A precious friend of mine has asked if she can make a very special gift for our sweet Kaiya's room. BUT in order to make it I will need your help... Here is her letter...
Hi Angel,
I want to make Kaiya a 100 good wishes quilt. Could you post on your blog asking friends and family to send an 8X8 inch square of girly or neutral (washable)fabric and a 3X5 or 4X6 inch card with their wish for Kaiya? The wish card could include scripture, quotes, prayers or personal wishes and a small scrap of the fabric they send. They should also sign their names and location. I will take all the squares and make them into a quilt and you can put all the cards into a memory book for her. She can look back on both and know how loved she is.
Here is an example of a gorgeous 100 Good Wishes Quilt.
Isn't she SWEET?? What a special heirloom this will be for our sweet litte Lady Bug. I would love for all of you to be a part of this. If you would like to participate you can e-mail me at angel weir @ gmail.com and put 100 wishes quilt as the subject. I will e-mail you my address so you can send your wish for Kaiya.
You can check out my friends blog over here... http://middleeastcrazies.blogspot.com/ She is really cool and coming with me to Africa in a few months.
HUGS!!! Thanks so much for helping us give this gift to our baby girl. Angel
Hi Angel,
I want to make Kaiya a 100 good wishes quilt. Could you post on your blog asking friends and family to send an 8X8 inch square of girly or neutral (washable)fabric and a 3X5 or 4X6 inch card with their wish for Kaiya? The wish card could include scripture, quotes, prayers or personal wishes and a small scrap of the fabric they send. They should also sign their names and location. I will take all the squares and make them into a quilt and you can put all the cards into a memory book for her. She can look back on both and know how loved she is.
Here is an example of a gorgeous 100 Good Wishes Quilt.
Isn't she SWEET?? What a special heirloom this will be for our sweet litte Lady Bug. I would love for all of you to be a part of this. If you would like to participate you can e-mail me at angel weir @ gmail.com and put 100 wishes quilt as the subject. I will e-mail you my address so you can send your wish for Kaiya.
You can check out my friends blog over here... http://middleeastcrazies.blogspot.com/ She is really cool and coming with me to Africa in a few months.
HUGS!!! Thanks so much for helping us give this gift to our baby girl. Angel
Busy, busy!!!
We are making good progress. I don't want to post pics till we are done though. You aren't going to believe everything we got done!!! My awesome mom has been helping me. We have had a lot of fun and now we are zonked out! The bulk of the work is done. Now it is just little touches here and there. Plus we have things coming in the mail for the rooms. Ummmm yes... I said ROOMS as in plural. We have been painting like mad women. ;0) Angel
Warning! Nesting Mommy!
My mom and I are working on Kaiya's room and numerous other projects! We have a good chunk of Kaiya's room done but have more to do. When it is all finished I will post pictures. I am so excited. I think it is going to be super cute. Hugs, Angel
Mexican Textiles
Cool or weird that I totally dig this embroidered fabric from Mexico? I saw the below article in Domino or Cookie or one of those a while back and couldn't get the bold, graphic print out of my mind.
I saw on design*sponge today that there is a company in California that distributes these pieces of art, embroidered over a three month process by indigenous people in Mexico.
The company sells the fabric in 2x2 or 2x3 meter squares and then you have to have it made into a duvet or headboard (or do it yourself). It's a little on the pricier side for me right now. But if you consider how expensive a random duvet cover is at Anthropologie or a department store, it's not that bad really. And we could use a bedroom makeover.
I think I've decided to let it stew until the summer time (when we'll have some extra cash). That way I can think about the color choices too.
WE HAVE LID!!!!!
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!! WE HAVE LID!!!!!!!!!!! Our dossier is OFICIALLY logged in and under review with the government in China!!!! Woooohooooooo!
YES! That was really fast! I am so excited!! It is shaping up to be a May trip to CHINA to pick up OUR BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The next step we are waiting for is LOA. (letter of acceptance) We are at DAY 6 waiting for LOA today! This usually takes between 60-100 days. I have been seeing some people getting LOA in 70 days lately. 90 is the usual... Since they are about to have Chinese New Year I am thinking 80-90 days till LOA is probably a safe bet because we lose a week there. WOOOOOHOOOOOOO! I am so excited I can hardly stand myself. This is a huge step.
After LOA we get TA- travel approval. Then we get our appointment and GO! We are getting CLOSER PEOPLE!!!!
Congrats to all my buddies who got LID with me today. I can't wait to be in CHINA with you! Hugs, Angel
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!! WE HAVE LID!!!!!!!!!!! Our dossier is OFICIALLY logged in and under review with the government in China!!!! Woooohooooooo!
YES! That was really fast! I am so excited!! It is shaping up to be a May trip to CHINA to pick up OUR BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The next step we are waiting for is LOA. (letter of acceptance) We are at DAY 6 waiting for LOA today! This usually takes between 60-100 days. I have been seeing some people getting LOA in 70 days lately. 90 is the usual... Since they are about to have Chinese New Year I am thinking 80-90 days till LOA is probably a safe bet because we lose a week there. WOOOOOHOOOOOOO! I am so excited I can hardly stand myself. This is a huge step.
After LOA we get TA- travel approval. Then we get our appointment and GO! We are getting CLOSER PEOPLE!!!!
Congrats to all my buddies who got LID with me today. I can't wait to be in CHINA with you! Hugs, Angel
A Special Little Girl Needs a Home
Hey blogger buddies. I was passed this information about a VERY important situation. Can you help me find this special little one's mommy and daddy?
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Hi all,
This week AAI staff has been in China, and we are being given the wonderful opportunity to facilitate that first known adoption of an HIV+ child in from China. There was a big meeting with the "powers that be" in China, and basically these government officials who are in charge of the orphans in China had no idea that HIV+ children could be treated with medication and be basically healthy. They had no idea that these kids could live long, full lives. They had no idea that HIV was not spread through casual contact, etc.
After some education and explanation, and the AAI staff sharing how over 20 HIV+ kids have now been adopted from Ethiopia, the Chinese officials agreed to "try it". They gave us the referral of one child, a 20 month old little girl. She is very beautiful and seems to be doing well, although is small for her age. She is developmentally normal and had not been showing any signs of illness. From what we know there are no ARV's available for Chinese orphans, so getting her home quickly will be important.
We would love to get the word out about this little girl so we can try and find her a home. If we can find a home for her quickly and show the Chinese officials that there are parents who will adopt these children, it could very well open the door for many more HIV+ Chinese orphans to be placed in loving homes in the US instead of dieing in orphanages.
China has been flexible in the past with its guidelines for special needs kids and we believe that they will be flexible for parents adopting HIV+ kids, however for the first case we want a family that meets the guidelines so it isn't a "stretch". The guidelines are - parents between the ages of 30-55- married for two years- income of at least $10,000 a year per family member and net worth of $80,000- no more than four (maybe five) children in the home.
Please feel free to spread this information around anywhere you see fit, especially if any of you have connections with the China adoption community.
Also please share my work contact info, which is erin@adoptionadvocates.org and 307 248 0530
Spread the word blogger buddies. This is a huge opportunity for this group of little ones. Hugs, Angel
Gotta Go My Own Way
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I wanted to share something with you. I got special permission from Zoe to put this on here because it is a look into her brave little heart. One of her favorite movies right now is High School Musical 2. She will watch it over and over if given the chance! ;0) She especially loved this one song (me too) and would repeat it many times. It seemed very important to her. While she was at my mom's house last week she ended up talking to my mom and telling her that it reminded her of Guatemala and they talked about many of the reasons why. Of course her application of the song is different than the original meaning. It was so precious and impressive that she was able to take these words and apply it to her history. It made me cry.
I don't share all of the details of what my little warrior went through growing up. Those are hers to share when she wants to do so. I hesitated on whether to share this because I don't know if it will make sense if you don't know her whole story but I think you'll get it.
I will share that our Zoe had to make tough decisions when she was in Guatemala and was given some choice in what her future would be. As a 6 year old little girl she was wiser than I can fathom. My little girl is amazing and strong and brave. At 6 years old she had faith that there was something better for her- that she would be loved and safe and happy someday. Her life in Guatemala is something we treasure and we know that there will be a place for those people in her life but she needed to find a different path.
So here is a piece of my peaceful warrior's heart. It makes me teary. The words are written below the video.
Gabriella
I gotta say what's in my mind
Something about us
doesn't seem right these days
life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan
is always rearranged
It's so hard to say
But I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok..
I've go to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own away
Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
and I watch them fall every time
Another color turns to grey
and it's just too hard to watch it all
slowly fade away
I'm leaving today 'cause I've
gotta do what's best for me
you'll be ok..
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own away
Troy
What about us?
What about everything we've been through?
Gabriella
What about trust?
Troy
you know I never wanted to hurt you
Gabriella
and what about me?
Troy
What am I supposed to do?
Gabriella
I gotta leave but I'll miss you
Troy
I'll miss you
Gabriella
so I've got to move on and be who I am
Troy
Why do you have to go?
Gabriella
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
Troy
I'm trying to understand
Gabriella
We might find our place in this
world someday
but at least for now
Troy
I want you to stay
Gabriella
I wanna go my own way
I've got to move on and be who I am
Troy
What about us?
Gabriella
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
Troy
I'm trying to understand
Gabriella
We might find our place in this
world someday
but at least for now
I gotta go my own away
I gotta go my own away
I gotta go my own away
I wanted to share something with you. I got special permission from Zoe to put this on here because it is a look into her brave little heart. One of her favorite movies right now is High School Musical 2. She will watch it over and over if given the chance! ;0) She especially loved this one song (me too) and would repeat it many times. It seemed very important to her. While she was at my mom's house last week she ended up talking to my mom and telling her that it reminded her of Guatemala and they talked about many of the reasons why. Of course her application of the song is different than the original meaning. It was so precious and impressive that she was able to take these words and apply it to her history. It made me cry.
I don't share all of the details of what my little warrior went through growing up. Those are hers to share when she wants to do so. I hesitated on whether to share this because I don't know if it will make sense if you don't know her whole story but I think you'll get it.
I will share that our Zoe had to make tough decisions when she was in Guatemala and was given some choice in what her future would be. As a 6 year old little girl she was wiser than I can fathom. My little girl is amazing and strong and brave. At 6 years old she had faith that there was something better for her- that she would be loved and safe and happy someday. Her life in Guatemala is something we treasure and we know that there will be a place for those people in her life but she needed to find a different path.
So here is a piece of my peaceful warrior's heart. It makes me teary. The words are written below the video.
Gabriella
I gotta say what's in my mind
Something about us
doesn't seem right these days
life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan
is always rearranged
It's so hard to say
But I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok..
I've go to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own away
Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
and I watch them fall every time
Another color turns to grey
and it's just too hard to watch it all
slowly fade away
I'm leaving today 'cause I've
gotta do what's best for me
you'll be ok..
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own away
Troy
What about us?
What about everything we've been through?
Gabriella
What about trust?
Troy
you know I never wanted to hurt you
Gabriella
and what about me?
Troy
What am I supposed to do?
Gabriella
I gotta leave but I'll miss you
Troy
I'll miss you
Gabriella
so I've got to move on and be who I am
Troy
Why do you have to go?
Gabriella
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
Troy
I'm trying to understand
Gabriella
We might find our place in this
world someday
but at least for now
Troy
I want you to stay
Gabriella
I wanna go my own way
I've got to move on and be who I am
Troy
What about us?
Gabriella
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
Troy
I'm trying to understand
Gabriella
We might find our place in this
world someday
but at least for now
I gotta go my own away
I gotta go my own away
I gotta go my own away
Our Sweet Droopy Dog
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We received an update on Milka, the little girl we are sponsoring at Eagle's Nest Orphanage in Guatemala. Isn't she wonderful???
I am more in love than ever of course. ;0) I mean just LOOK at her. She is killer adorable. You know what is REALLY weird? On her update I found out that her birthday is May 7th of 2006. That is 3 days before Kaiya was born. They are EXACTLY the same age!!! How weird is it that of all the children I fell so hard for this little one who turns out to have a birthday 3 days away from Kaiya's?? Then she ends up stuck in Guatemala needing sponsors. Very interesting.
The whole time I was in Guatemala I kept watching the kids and wondering which ones were close in age to our little China doll. I had no idea. :0) I wonder what God has up His sleeve for this precious little one I have dubbed Droopy Dog- DD.
We received an update on Milka, the little girl we are sponsoring at Eagle's Nest Orphanage in Guatemala. Isn't she wonderful???
I am more in love than ever of course. ;0) I mean just LOOK at her. She is killer adorable. You know what is REALLY weird? On her update I found out that her birthday is May 7th of 2006. That is 3 days before Kaiya was born. They are EXACTLY the same age!!! How weird is it that of all the children I fell so hard for this little one who turns out to have a birthday 3 days away from Kaiya's?? Then she ends up stuck in Guatemala needing sponsors. Very interesting.The whole time I was in Guatemala I kept watching the kids and wondering which ones were close in age to our little China doll. I had no idea. :0) I wonder what God has up His sleeve for this precious little one I have dubbed Droopy Dog- DD. This one cracks me up. Look at that face. This is her with a present on Christmas. She looks pretty unhappy with Santa. Hee hee hee...
Eagle's Nest still needs financial support. Even if you can only give $10 bucks every penny adds up. Eagle's Nest has NO income coming in right now because adoptions have been put on hold. You can imagine the pressure of trying to care for these dear children not knowing where the funds will come from. Claire wrote to me to tell me how many of you responded last time I posted about this. It really touched my heart. To give to Eagle's Nest all you have to do is go to their website http://www.eaglesnestint.org/ Click on "How Can I Help" and there is a donation button. You can donate through Pay Pal. It is super easy. To see children who still need sponsors you can go to "Adopt-A-Child" and look at the pictures. You are not required to send any specific amount...only what you can afford. You just specify which child you want to sponsor and you will get monthly updates like we do for Milka. If you have questions please e-mail we at angel weir @ gmail.com
:0) Angel
I'm BACK! ;0)
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No I didn't fall into a deep dark cavern in the country never to be heard from again. Noooo I am not terribly upset or depressed. Hee hee hee...
-Actually I am doing awesome. So awesome that the days are just flying. We are having a lot of fun together. I have been working really hard to get my life organized and efficient. We have been cleaning out closets and sorting through toys. School started back so we are getting back into the home school routine again. I am also working out again. YAY! It feels good to be back into a good routine.
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No news on the adoption front. Not really expecting any for a few more weeks. I am actually hoping that we are logged in already but we probably won't know the date till several weeks after it happens.
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I guess that is all... I should be back to blogging now. If you have e-mailed me and I haven't gotten back to you I am so sorry. I have 80 e-mails that I need to respond to in my inbox. It's not personal I promise. I try to keep up with my e-mail but sometimes it just doesn't happen.
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Hugs, Angel
How To Use This Blog
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I want to let you know that I have worked hard to add a lot of different things to my blog for my awesome blogger buddies. My main concern was that people would have the ability to find the information they needed on my blog efficiently. I know a lot of new people stumble across this blog and I don't want you to feel lost. I also get asked a lot of questions and my old blog posts are a handy way to answer those thoroughly. It helps if I can actually find them quickly so I can be more prepared! ;0) So on the right hand side of my blog underneath our family pictures I have created an archival system. It has different sections and under those sections you can find all the posts I have written under those topics. Check it out...
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Let me know if this doesn't make sense or you have a post you would like me to write. I know I still have posts to write on older child adoption. Sorry I am so slow but I haven't forgotten-just behind!!
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I would also like to highlight a couple of posts that mean a lot to me. Many of you have expressed surprise or amazement that I have such peace during this adoption. Anyone who saw me the first time around can tell you this is something I learned and not a natural skill. These posts explain a bit about what I learned.
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The Hardest Lesson We Learn- I seriously still can't read this without crying. It was a very deep lesson for me.
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Hindsight is 20/20- Handling my adoption this way is what is really helping me right now.
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Looking Back On A Leap Of Faith- This takes a look into who I am. It's what makes me "crazy" I suppose. When God says jump I WILL take the leap of faith- ALWAYS.
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AND if you are a new blogger buddy this is a good place to start. It tells the story of how we came to adopt in the first place.
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To the right you will also find archived videos to watch, books I recommend, meet people we talk about in the blog and my blog roll.
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Please let me know what you think about the system. Can you find what you need? Do you have any ideas? HUGS! Angel
Care Package For Kaiya
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Because of the generosity of a super awesome momma I am getting to send my Kaiya a care package in China!!!!!!! This mamma is going to pick up her little girl who is OH SO CUTE in about two weeks. She is at the same orphanage as Kaiya so she will be taking these things for me. HOW AWESOME IS SHE??? I am so thankful as I have really wanted to be able to send Kaiya some things for the winter.
Here are some shoes I sent. The goal was to send shoes that would smoosh flat and take up no room AND would be comfy. YAY Target clearance. These were perfect!
I so wanted to send her a mirror because I know she most likely gets very little interaction. I think it would be very good for her to be able to see her own facial expressions and interact that way. Plus kids LOVE mirrors. I found the best one I could then had to cut the poor sucker's head off so he would fit. It was pretty funny. Plus I know they don't want a lot of stuffed animal type toys cause they hold germs. It has ties that will attach to her crib.
Here is the photo album we sent. That is my lady bug on the front there!
Because of the generosity of a super awesome momma I am getting to send my Kaiya a care package in China!!!!!!! This mamma is going to pick up her little girl who is OH SO CUTE in about two weeks. She is at the same orphanage as Kaiya so she will be taking these things for me. HOW AWESOME IS SHE??? I am so thankful as I have really wanted to be able to send Kaiya some things for the winter.
Here are the things I sent. I was determined to not send more than would fit in a one gallon zip lock baggie. BUT I had certain things I wanted her to have so it was TOUGH! I FIT IT ALL with some good old American ingenuity.
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The clothes are all from REI. See we live in TX. We don't do cold really well. So I drove into Houston to get some special gear. Kaiya's corner of the world gets really cold and her orphanage does not have heat. So I wanted to make sure she has some good clothing. I found everything I needed and most of it was on clearance. WOOHOO! The pink outfit to the left is temperature gauging thermal underwear. It will keep her toasty warm without making her sweaty. The purple outfit is thermal fleece. VERY SNUGGLY! The socks and hat and mittens are all made out of smart wool. It is extremely warm but not itchy. (great tip Wendi)
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You will also see in there a disposable camera... due to my hope that they might use it and return it with pictures when I pick her up. Some medicine for scabies since that can be a problem in orphanages. A crinkle book since that is the best baby toy ever invented. It is tiny and can fit anywhere. Every baby I have ever met likes this toy. Kaitlyn used to play with it for SOO long. Also links to attach her toys to her crib so she won't lose them. I had to stuff them in one by one in the nooks and crannies. Then I smushed in some tootsie rolls for the caretakers! I also got to write them a short letter translated on babblefish thanking them for caring for Kaiya and letting them know we will come soon.
Here are some shoes I sent. The goal was to send shoes that would smoosh flat and take up no room AND would be comfy. YAY Target clearance. These were perfect!
I so wanted to send her a mirror because I know she most likely gets very little interaction. I think it would be very good for her to be able to see her own facial expressions and interact that way. Plus kids LOVE mirrors. I found the best one I could then had to cut the poor sucker's head off so he would fit. It was pretty funny. Plus I know they don't want a lot of stuffed animal type toys cause they hold germs. It has ties that will attach to her crib.
Here is the photo album we sent. That is my lady bug on the front there!Here is the first page. Thanks to Nikki (she did my blog) I have a picture of all my sweet girls together. Isn't that sweet?
Here is the next page...
This is the last page. I also stuck some extra pics behind each picture in the vague hope that they would see them and show them to her. I can wish right?
Here is the package all put in a gallon zip lock baggie! Can you believe I fit it all?
That is her Chinese name.
Here is the other side. That is a picture of Kaiya for the caretakers.
I am so happy. It's really strange. I think because I am purposely making the decision to be content every good thing that happens feels like a wonderful surprise. I love it. This is the way to go.
It is so good to know that Kaiya will have the things she needs to be warm and growing. HUGS! Angel
WE ARE DTC!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not only are we DTC (dossier to China) but our dossier has ARRIVED in China!!!!! WOOOHOOO! I just found out today because the adoption agency office was closed for New Year's. Our dossier was actually mailed on the 29th of Dec and just arrived a few hours ago in China! It has already been translated so it is ready to be logged in! I feel so blessed and excited. I am praying for God's perfect timing. I am crossing my toes and fingers hoping that God's timing is lighting fast. Hee hee hee... We shall see. I feel very peaceful about the whole thing. Of course I want her home but I remain at non-anxious status! ;0)
The next step we wait for is LID. (Log In Date)That means that the government has logged us in and we are officially under review.
YIIPPPPEEEEE!!! What a great way to start this fabulous year of 2008!
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Love you Kaiya baby. We will be there before you know it!!
-Love, Angel
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